For parents
Are you worried about your son or daughter?
Maybe they are withdrawing more often, experiencing a lot of school-related stress, sleeping poorly, or dealing with racing thoughts. As a parent, you want to help, but that doesn’t mean you need to have a solution right away.
Often, it starts with something much simpler: showing that you’re there and truly listening.
On this page, you can read how to start the conversation yourself and what @ease can offer if your child would rather talk to someone else.
How do you know if something is going on?
Not every quiet day or angry mood means something is wrong. Look especially for changes that last longer.
You might notice that your child:
- Withdraws more often
- Reacts more quickly with anger or sadness
- Worries a lot
- Sleeps poorly
- Is less interested in school, sports, or friends
- Often says that everything is too much
How to start the conversation
Sometimes helping doesn’t start with the right answer, but with having the courage to ask the right question: how are you really doing?
Choose a quiet moment. Talking often feels less heavy during a walk or in the car than when you sit down across from each other. You could say, for example:
“I’ve noticed you’ve been a bit quieter lately. How are you really doing?”
Or:
“Do you want me to help you think of a solution, or do you mostly just want me to listen?”
Try not to offer solutions too quickly. Sometimes it’s already a relief if someone can just tell their story without it needing to be fixed immediately.
Tips for parents
Listening without immediately coming up with solutions is sometimes easier said than done. How do you ask a good question? What should you look out for? And what should you or shouldn’t you say?
We’ll help you get started with the articles below.
The Checkers: free online tool to ask questions to your child
It’s not always easy to start a conversation with a young person who’s struggling. For those who want to help...
My child worries a lot: what can I do?
Many young people struggle with persistent worries but often hide them to avoid burdening those around them. This blog helps parents recognize the signs and offers practical tips for starting an open conversation in a casual setting.
Podcast: “Don’t wait for young people to drop out or get stuck”
In the NPO 1 radio program 'Vijf Dagen', youth psychiatrist Rianne Klaasen, co-founder of @ease, shares her concerns about the mental health of young people and her hopeful answer: @ease.
If your child would rather talk to someone else
It can be a bit of a pill to swallow when you realize your child is talking, but not to you. Yet, that is very common. Young people often consciously choose a friend, a peer, or someone who is a bit further removed from them.
Often, young people actually want to protect their parents from worry or sadness. In those cases, it’s easier to talk to someone who isn’t as close.
The most important thing is that your child is talking to someone. As a parent, you don’t have to be the one your child tells everything to. But do make sure your child has someone they can turn to.
Conversations at @ease are free. Young people can drop in without an appointment and decide for themselves what they want to talk about. In the background, a team of professionals is ready to guide the peer-listeners.
This allows @ease to be involved early in the process: before small worries grow larger and without the immediate need for a treatment plan.
Sometimes, it’s nice to have someone else who listens
Even if you talk openly with your child, it can help for them to have someone else to turn to.
At @ease, a young person talks to other young people of roughly the same age. They are specially trained to listen well and be there for other youth.
This is what @ease locations look like
No. A young person can just drop in without an appointment during opening hours. A referral is not necessary.
Yes, of course. Especially with younger visitors, we regularly see a parent coming along to drop them off or pick them up. You can just come along to the location and wait with us with a cup of tea.
The conversation itself is always just with the young person. This gives your child plenty of space to talk freely with our peer-listeners. Afterwards, you can of course head back home together.
No. Your child does not need permission from a parent to come and talk at @ease. @ease is not a healthcare institution and a conversation is not a treatment. Young people come to us anonymously and for free; we don’t ask for personal details and don’t create a file.
No. A conversation at @ease is confidential. We don’t ask young people for their name or other personal details and we don’t create a file. What your child tells us stays between the young person and @ease.
You also don’t have to worry about costs or health insurance. A conversation at @ease is free and nothing is billed to the health insurer.
Try not to force the conversation. Let them know you’re available and keep making contact at moments when talking isn’t the main focus, for example during a walk or car ride. You can also mention that @ease exists, without asking your child to do anything with it right away.
Want to bring @ease to their attention?
You don’t have to arrange the conversation for your child. You can, however, let them know that @ease exists.
Young people aged 12 to 25 can drop in or chat online for free and without an appointment. Your child can decide for themselves when and what they want to talk about.