You feel down, but you can’t really explain why. Maybe you’ve started canceling plans, feeling exhausted more quickly, or everything just feels heavier than usual. And then that voice in your head shows up: “Why do I feel this way when my life is actually pretty okay?” “Other people have it way worse than I do, right?”
That guilt makes it difficult to talk. As if you first have to prove that your sadness is justified. But that’s not how it works.
Guilt associated with sadness is more common than you might think. And there are a few reasons why your brain might react this way.
What is the difference between shame and guilt? We explain that in this article.
Why do you feel guilty?
1. You compare yourself to others
A lot of young people look at others and think: they have it worse than I do. Maybe you know someone dealing with problems at home, or someone going through something really intense. That can make it feel like your own feelings matter less.
But feelings don’t work like a competition. The fact that someone else is having a hard time doesn’t make your feelings any less real.
2. On social media, everyone seems happy
This is basically the opposite of number 1. On Instagram or TikTok, you mostly see the fun parts of other people’s lives: parties, friends, funny videos. It can seem like everyone is having a better time than you are. So when you’re feeling down, it may start to feel like you’re the only one doing something wrong.
But what you see online is usually only the surface. Many young people feel insecure, tired, or gloomy, even though you can’t see it.
3. Mental health issues are invisible
If someone breaks their arm, everyone understands that they need rest.
But you can’t see sadness on the outside. Because of this, it can sometimes feel as if your feelings aren’t “real enough.” And that is precisely what can amplify feelings of guilt.
What can help if you recognize this?
Guilt usually doesn’t disappear immediately. But these small steps can help you look at it differently.
1. Recognize the little voice in your head
Sometimes you hear thoughts in your head such as:
- I shouldn’t make such a fuss.
- I’m a burden
- I just need to pull myself together.
- Kom op, even doorzetten
Try to recognize that moment. They are thoughts, not facts.
2. Start small when sharing
You don’t have to tell your whole story right away.
Sometimes just one sentence is enough to break the silence. For example: “I haven’t been feeling very okay lately.”
Many young people notice that it is a relief when someone just listens for a moment.
3. The friend check
Imagine a friend felt the same way you do right now. Would you tell them they’re overreacting or being dramatic? Probably not. Try to treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would give a friend.
You don’t have to go through it alone.
Many young people keep these feelings to themselves. Often because they don’t want to burden others. But talking can actually help clear your head.
At @ease, you can talk to someone your age for free and 100% confidentially. You don’t have to explain or prove anything. Just telling what’s on your mind is enough.
Do you want to talk to someone? See how @ease works here.