Teens feel stress differently than adults. You might say, “It’s just work pressure,” but for them, it’s a whole pile of stuff at once, school, tests, sports, friends, being seen online, feeling unsure about themselves. It stacks up fast.
At the same time, lots of young people keep it all in. They don’t want to bother anyone, or they just don’t know how to start the conversation.
In this blog, you will read how, as a parent or teacher, you can open a conversation about stress without it becoming heavy.
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You don’t have to solve it, just be there
Grown-ups often want to fix things, it’s only natural. But for young people, that can actually make things harder. What really helps? Knowing they’re not alone.
Stress gets easier to carry when young people feel it’s okay to feel what they feel. This is a simple order that can help:
- Listening: giving space without filling it in
- Normalize: show that their feelings are logical
- Look together: only if they want, think together about what will help
Conversation starters: talking about stress
A good chat doesn’t have to be a big deal. The best questions are easy and open — and let the young person choose how much to share. That’s what makes it feel safe.
These are sentences that young people find pleasant and helpful:
- What was the most difficult moment today?
- What is still on your mind that you find difficult?
- Zijn er momenten op school die zwaar voelen?
- How can I be there for you?
Let the young person take control:
- Do you want to talk about it now, or would you rather talk about it another time?
A simple question that also works well:
- Do you want me to think along with you or just listen?
Sometimes a small moment of acknowledgment works better than a big conversation; in that case, name what you see:
- I see you find it hard
- I notice you’ve been a little quieter lately
And finally, normalize their feelings:
- It’s understandable that you feel this way. It’s also a lot.
What makes a conversation awkward
Even when you mean well, a conversation can suddenly hit a wall. Young people pick up on your tone and how fast things go. These are a few common things that can get in the way:
- Coming up with solutions too quickly
“Then you just need to start your homework a bit earlier.” - Minimizing the problem
“It’s not that bad, is it? Everyone experiences stress sometimes.” - Compare
“When I was young…” or “Others have it much harder.” - Push through
“Just say what’s going on.” - Wanting to have a conversation in the middle of an argument
It’s better to wait until things calm down and say, “I’d like to hear how you’re really doing later.”
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about stress in young people
Pushing hardly ever helps. Just name what you see (“Looks like you need a break right now”), let them know you’re there, and try another time. You could also say: “You don’t have to tell me now, but I’m here if you feel like talking later.”
Choose a low-pressure moment, like going for a walk, a car ride, or doing something together. Questions such as “What was the hardest moment of your day?” or “What did you run into today?” often work better than “What’s going on?”
Absolutely. Many young people appreciate that it is no-obligation. You can phrase it lightly: “If you ever want to clear your head for a moment, you can always chat with @ease.” Looking for help nearby? You can walk into these @ease locations.
They talk to a trained peer who listens, asks questions, and thinks along with them at their own pace. Nothing is recorded, there is no registration, and no follow-up is required. After the conversation, your child decides for themselves whether (and what) next step is needed.
Our drop-in rooms and chat are intended only for young people up to 25 years old, but many parents use the blogs and information on the website to better understand how they can support their child.