More and more young men feel pressure to be strong, successful, and dominant. Online, they are often exposed to a one-sided idea of what masculinity looks like. In the manosphere, vulnerability is rarely seen as a strength. What does that do to how boys see themselves and whether they feel able to talk about their emotions? Silke, location manager at @ease in Amsterdam, spoke with the Service Point for Emancipation about the manosphere and how @ease aims to show that it’s okay to talk about your feelings, even as a man.
Watch and listen to the full interview with Silke on Instagram here.
What is the manosphere?
The manosphere is an online world where narrow ideas about masculinity are shared: it mainly revolves around wealth, dominance, and success with women. “That creates a lot of pressure,” Silke explains in the interview. “Boys can feel like they’re failing if they don’t live up to that image. At @ease, we see that this can make boys feel insecure.”
Talking is especially difficult for boys.
At @ease, you can always find a listening ear from a peer. But for boys, taking that first step is often noticeably harder. Silke says: “It takes a long-term effort to reach them. We want to show that there isn’t just one type of masculinity. It’s actually masculine to dare to show vulnerability.”
The unique peer-to-peer concept of @ease lowers the barrier for young people to say things they find difficult to talk about at home or with friends. The goal is simple: to show that talking about your feelings is also masculine. Strength is not about dominance.
The impact on women and gender roles
Silke says: “The manosphere doesn’t only influence men, but also how men view women. Sometimes women are blamed for a man’s feeling of ‘failure’. But women also face challenges that are linked to traditional gender roles.”
“Women are often inclined to focus on what they think is expected of them by their environment,” Silke says. “It’s important that they also choose their own path and, for example, dare to show their anger more often. That is also a form of vulnerability.”
@ease makes room for another story
At @ease, young people who dare to share their story are valued. By creating a safe environment, we help break the negative spiral of the manosphere. Silke says: “We really speak to our target group, including young men, in a positive way when they talk about their feelings. Talking about it is completely normal.”
Do you have questions about the manosphere, gender roles, or performance pressure? At @ease you can always walk into one of our locations or start a chat. Whether you’re dealing with insecurity or just want to get something off your chest, we’re here to listen. In Amsterdam, we have three locations: Zuid-Oost, Oost, and De Pijp.