You miss something. Or someone. That could be anything: a friend, your old life, or a version of yourself.
Maybe your best friend is suddenly gone, your parents have separated, or you have moved and everything feels different. Maybe you don’t recognize yourself anymore because something has changed.
That feeling of missing something, that emptiness, that’s a form of grief too. And a lot of young people know that feeling, but rarely talk about it. Why does loss affect us so deeply, what different forms of loss are there, and what can help when you’re trying to cope with it?
This article is about what grief and loss are. Read also about how grief can manifest and how to recognize it.
What is loss really?
Loss is losing something or someone who was important to you. That can be a person, but also a feeling, a place, or a version of yourself.
You don’t have to attend a funeral to feel sadness.
Forms of loss that no one talks about
Loss does not always look the same. Consider:
- The end of a friendship
- Your parents’ divorce
- The loss of a pet
- Moving or changing schools
- A dream that didn’t come true
- Losing yourself and no longer knowing who you are
All these forms hurt. Even if others don’t see it.
Why does loss hurt so much?
Your brain needs to adjust to a new reality. That takes time and energy.
You grieve not only for what was, but also for what could have been. And grief comes in waves: sometimes it feels like you are over it, and then suddenly something touches you again.
Grief does not look the same for everyone.
Some people cry a lot. Others feel empty or numb. You might be angry, confused, relieved, or all of these at once.
Grief can also hide: in poorer sleep, withdrawal, and a reduced appetite.
There is no right way to grieve. Your way is your way.
You are allowed to be sad (even if others don’t understand)
Even if others don’t understand. Even if it was “just” a friendship or a pet.
Your sorrow doesn’t have to be big enough to count. Pain is not a competition.
What you feel is real.
What can you do when you feel loss?
- Give yourself permission to be sad.
- Talk about it with someone who listens without judgment or write it down.
- Be kind to yourself: grief takes energy, so rest is not a luxury.
- Know that asking for help is okay.
What can you do if someone close to you experiences a loss?
Don’t know what to say? You don’t have to.
- Just be there. Presence is already a lot.
- Don’t say “it will be fine”: that feels like brushing it off.
- Also ask how they are doing months later.
- Acknowledge the loss: “I am thinking of you”
Yes, that is normal. Grief has no end date. Mourning comes in waves and can still flare up years later, for example around a birthday or a specific place.
Absolutely. Grief isn’t only about death. The end of a friendship, moving away, or losing the person you used to be — all of these forms of loss deserve space. Your pain is real, no matter what caused it.
Start small. Choose someone you feel safe with and only share what you want to share at that moment. You don’t have to say everything at once.
Feelings of guilt are something many people experience when grieving. Feeling like you’re doing it wrong, moving on too quickly, or staying stuck for too long. But there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. Whatever works for you is valid and deserves space.
At @ease, you can certainly talk about sadness or grief. This can be done via chat or on location with our volunteers.