Starting a conversation about feelings is difficult. You might see it in someone: they withdraw, smile less, react curtly. Or perhaps they’re overly cheerful. You’d love to help. But what do you say then?
During Mental Health Week (June 2-8, 2025), we share some conversation tips, including 25 questions to check how someone is doing.
Waarom is het zo lastig om te praten over hoe je je voelt?
Many young people stay silent about what’s going on inside. Out of shame, fear of being a burden, or because they simply don’t know how to begin. But sometimes, one sincere question, asked with care, at the right moment, can change everything.
That’s why we’ve compiled a list of 25 questions to help you open the conversation. Not to force answers, but to leave the door open.
1. The entry: light-hearted opening lines
These questions are accessible and help to land in the conversation.
- What was the most relaxing moment for you today?
- If you were an emoji today, which one would it be?
- How is your mind today: more chaos or more chill?
- Where would you most like to be right now?
- What would you do if you had to do absolutely nothing for one day?
2. How do you really feel?
Questions that go beyond “fine”.
- On a scale of 1 to 10, how have you been feeling lately?
- When was the last time you felt truly relieved?
- Is there something you’re worried about but would rather not talk about?
- Do you feel like you have to pretend to be someone you’re not?
- What helps you when your head is full?
How can you tell if someone isn’t doing well? Then read: 10 Signs Your Child, Sibling, or Friend Isn’t Doing Well
3. School, study or work
About performance pressure, deadlines and doubts.
- Do you feel like you have to keep up with everything?
- What causes you stress at school or work?
- If you could skip one day, which one would it be and why?
- Where do you get your motivation from – or do you sometimes lose it?
- What would you say to yourself if you were your own mentor?
4. Friendship, love & yourself
About connection, boundaries and being yourself.
- Who in your life makes you feel like you can truly be yourself?
- Do you have enough people around you that you can turn to?
- What would you like others to know about you that you’re not saying?
- Have you been feeling more connected or detached from others lately?
- What does “being yourself” actually mean to you?
5. If you are worried:
If you feel that someone is really not feeling well.
- Do you ever feel like everything is getting too much for you?
- Have you been sleeping well lately?
- Do you ever feel like you can’t see the point anymore?
- Is there something you’ve been worried about for a long time?
- Did you know that I am here for you, even if you find it difficult to talk?
And when someone starts talking…
Listen. Allow for silences. Don’t offer advice right away. Simply being heard is often enough.
Do you still want to say something? Then choose sentences like:
- Thank you for sharing this
- I’m here. Even when I don’t know what to say.
- Would you like to explore together what could help?
Je hoeft me niet te fixen. Gewoon luisteren is al genoeg – een jongere via @ease
What if talking isn’t possible (yet)?
Sometimes a young person wants to talk, but prefers to talk to someone else. This isn’t rejection—it’s often a matter of shame or the feeling that you might worry.
That’s okay. The most important thing is that they have someone to confide in.
Encourage your child to visit @ease. It’s a place where young people can talk with peers their own age — often making it easier to share what’s on their mind. It’s always free and completely confidential. You’ll find all our locations and opening hours here.