Stress is a natural part of life, particularly during youth when multiple demands converge. Schoolwork, sports, social activities, family commitments, future decisions, and the pressure to appear cheerful on social media, it can all accumulate quickly.
A bit of pressure isn’t always bad, it keeps you sharp. But when it doesn’t go away, it becomes stress. And that doesn’t always come out in words. Young people rarely say “help me”, but here’s what they do say:
- It’s too much, but I don’t know how to explain it
- I don’t want to be a burden to anyone
This blog shares 5 common signs that a young person might be feeling stressed, and how you can respond as a parent, teacher or friend, without taking over or pushing them. When you know what to look for, you might spot it just in time.
1. Physical stuff, like headaches, tummy aches, or not sleeping well
“My stomach hurts” or “I’m just tired.” It doesn’t sound like much, but for young people, stress often shows up in the body. Headaches after school, stomach pain before class, tight shoulders, or poor sleep are all common signs of overload.
It doesn’t immediately mean that something serious is going on, but it is a sign that their body needs rest.
2. Changes in behavior (irritable or withdrawn)
When young people feel stressed, they often act differently than usual. Some get snappy, lose their temper easily, or seem tense all the time. Others pull away, spending more time alone, skipping plans, or keeping their distance.
Important to know: behavior is communication. Irritability is usually not due to unwillingness, but to tension.
3. Problems at school (absenteeism or underperformance)
When stress gets too much, it usually shows at school. They might skip more classes, avoid tests or presentations, or start falling behind.
It might look like they’re not trying, but usually, it’s the opposite. They want to do well, but the pressure gets in the way. Underperforming is one of the most overlooked signs of stress.
4. Wanting to maintain control (worrying, perfectionism)
Many young people try to manage stress by trying even harder. This is what it looks like:
- A lot of worrying
- Wanting to do everything perfectly
- Afraid of making mistakes
- Getting stuck in details
- Can’t start because it’s not right yet
On the outside, it can look like drive or discipline. But often, it just means the pressure is too much. Sometimes, perfectionism is simply a way to keep stress under control.
5. Emotional outbursts or even flattening out
Stress can manifest itself in two completely opposite ways:
- Outbursts: suddenly angry, crying over something small, easily overwhelmed
- Flattening out: showing little emotion, don’t care reactions, appearing emotionally closed off
When a young person acts out or shuts down, it’s not just behaviour, it’s a signal.
A sign that they’re not coping, not able to give their feelings the space they need. So don’t just look at what they do. Look at what they can’t manage anymore.
What you can do as a parent or teacher (without pushing)
A listening ear and a brief moment of acknowledgement often work better than a long conversation. The best questions are simple, open-ended, and leave the decision up to the young person.
And if talking is difficult at home?
Sometimes, young people do want to talk, just not with someone at home or from school. That’s not because they don’t trust you. Often, it’s because they don’t want to burden you. Talking to someone a little outside the situation can simply feel easier.
@ease is a great first step. Young people between 12 and 25 can use @ease to:
- chatting online
- drop in for a free conversation
- no appointment or referral required
- no waiting list
- conversations are 100% confidential
Finally
Stress is part of life. But it shouldn’t take over. Young people need to learn how to deal with pressure, and know that it’s okay to ask for help.
Want to know exactly how @ease works?
Many young people like to know what to expect before coming in for a chat at @ease. That’s why we’ve explained everything in one clear place:
Here’s how walking in at @ease works.
Frequently asked questions about stress in your child
Pay attention to changes: trouble sleeping, overthinking, withdrawing, calling in sick more often, or physical complaints. One sign may not mean much, but a pattern does. Not sure? Just ask how they’re really doing
Not always. A lot of young people show stress through things like tummy aches or headaches. But it’s a good chance to ask, gently: “How are you really doing? Any idea what’s making you feel this way?”
@ease is a safe space where young people can talk or chat with trained volunteers their own age. It’s not a diagnosis or treatment, just someone who listens, without pressure, at their pace. And often, that alone brings huge relief.