About a year and a half ago, I returned to the ‘normal world’ after a long and intense admission, and that always takes some adjusting. It wasn’t the first time I’d been hospitalised, but it was by far the hardest. I spent a long time in isolation too. Definitely not something I’d recommend, to be honest, it was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. It felt inhuman.
And then suddenly, you’re back ‘outside’, expected to start over. Luckily, I’ve always had my creative outlet to hold on to. Honestly, it’s the one thing in my life, yes, maybe that sounds dramatic, that I know will never let me down. From a young age, I knew I wanted to do something with art, and I finished art school. But as much as I love creating, writing, and exploring every form of expression to fill my week… at some point, it just wasn’t enough. I’m a deeply social person, and I need to work with people. Also, being on benefits and just making art didn’t sit right with me. I wanted to take part in society again, and stop making up awkward answers at parties when people asked if I could make a living from my art.
Dear people, I thought, art is the reason I’m still here.
So, the search for the right volunteer work began. There wasn’t much out there, and I wasn’t looking for something just to pass the time, I wanted to do something that actually mattered. By chance, a friend gave me a flyer from @ease, and it immediately spoke to me. I’ve learned a lot about the human mind, not just through self-study, but also from life experience, so the idea of using that to help others really appealed to me. If I hadn’t gone to art school, I definitely would’ve studied psychology or something similar. Over the years, I’ve taught myself quite a lot, it’s a field I find endlessly fascinating.
I did the intake, followed the incredibly valuable training sessions, and before I knew it, I was warmly welcomed into this diverse and kind group of people. It felt like a warm bath – not just with the other volunteers, but with the staff too. I quickly noticed that my knowledge and experience really clicked with supporting the young people who come to @ease. I felt, and still feel, like I can turn the tough things I’ve been through into something useful: through practical tips, lived experience, and empathy.
At first, I was a bit unsure if I could really make a difference, but thanks to all the feedback I received, I now truly believe I have something valuable to offer. There was also so much appreciation for my art, which I got to exhibit at the @ease location in Maastricht. Later, I was even involved in helping design the new location in Heerlen.
It’s been just over a year since I first walked into @ease, and I honestly feel like I’ve come back to life. I’ve made new friendships, learned more about myself, and found tools and insight that really helped me in my own recovery process. I’ve started a new therapy too, and I finally trust myself again, and believe in what I have to offer. I’m even exploring how I might return to paid work, in a way that also includes my creative strengths. @ease sees me, and I’m deeply grateful to be part of this beautiful organisation.